Maître de: “Yes, we have your reservation. Can you show me your vaccine passport?”
Woman: “No. I have a religious exemption.”
Maître de: “I’m sorry, but that doesn’t work here at Café Capitulation.”
Woman: “I’m sad to hear that” (turns to walk away).
Maître de: “By the way, what religion are you?”
Woman (pulls out a doll from her purse that looks exactly like the maître de.): “Voodoo.”
Maître de: “Ah, a table has just become available. Right this way, madam.”
__________________
Robin: “Holy smoke, Batman! Could it be that the villain Bane wearing a mask and the Joker blowing up hospitals in our previous episodes was predictive programming for what we are living in now?”
Bruce Wayne (wearing a Batman costume): “Best not to pursue it further, Robin. We have stock in the pharmaceutical companies ourselves.”
_________________
Reporter: “So why are you only now warning us about the very mRNA technology that you helped develop rather than blowing the whistle back when you were creating this bioweapon?”
Dr. Frankenstein: “I needed more test subjects. Ending up with only one mutant could’ve been an anomaly.”
_________________
Sportscaster: “Here comes the tennis star, Boris Williams. How have you won 40 majors and are still winning at age 50?”
Boris Williams (wearing a billion-dollar smile): “I have no idea. Be sure to take your boosters.”
Sportscaster: “But you were denied entry into tournaments back during the vaccine mandates because you refused to take them. What happened to all your competition?”
Boris Williams: “I have no idea. Be sure to take your boosters.”
________________
CEO: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the sole survivor of our 25th booster shot. (Big Pharma stockholders give the poor emaciated wretch a standing ovation).
CEO: “Unfortunately, it looks like we have put ourselves out of business.”
(Dead silence).
________________
21st Century Heroes in the Headlines:
“Drone Operator wins Congressional Medal of Honor.”
“Stowaway
on Billionaire’s Spaceship Reveals Truth about Flat Earth Theory.”
“Developer
of Masks for Dogs Wins Nobel Prize in Medicine.”
“Developer
of Masks for Cats Remains in Stable Condition at Local Hospital.”
________________
Final Episode: “Riddle me this, Batman--Do you mean to tell me that you looked the other way when all those people were being murdered in exchange for money that is no longer worth anything?”
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