Black and White

“And the search you half remember
Setting out on from the start
Is burning like an ember in your heart.”

I was awakened by a familiar fragrance in the air. A tall and slender man was sitting in a chair at the foot of my bed smoking a joint. I should’ve been startled but was not as his face was somehow familiar.

He merely smiled at me and pulled the fedora further over his head. “Pardon my barging in on you like this,” he said. “But it was time.”

“I’ve seen you before,” I said.

He ignored my comment saying, “You’re letting your emotions get the better of you.”

I knew what he was talking about and for some reason did not feel uncomfortable discussing the matter with him.

“How can I not?” I said. “We’re living in a fucking nuthouse where the inmates run the asylum. This administration tells us that there is no proof of Assad using Sarin gas on his own people one minute and promptly drops bombs on Syria the next. We don’t even get motives from the media for the endless parade of spree killers anymore. They just tell us what they did and what rights must be taken away in order to protect us. This has become a full-scale cognitive-dissonance program for the masses while the few that can see through it are slowly being driven insane.”

“This is true,” said the man with a laugh. “But that’s only because you’re stuck at the level of your own unconscious making.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The enemy wants you to respond with anger towards them as what they are doing is designed to either burn you out or get you to behave in ways that justify their intervention.”

“That makes sense,” I said. But my biggest problem is not understanding why people can’t see through this ruse. They continue to support bad things while thinking they are doing good.”

“And it looks like it’s only going to get worse,” the man said. “This isn’t the first collapsing empire that I’ve seen.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Let’s get back to the subject,” he said. “Why do you think the masses are not waking up?”

“I really don’t know,” I said. “It’s so obvious that their leaders have become their rulers.”

“It’s because they don’t want to know the truth,” he said. “Think about your life before you woke up. You did everything you could to justify your beliefs and behavior.”

“I understand that,” I said. “But there is so much more that must be ignored these days in order to maintain their illusions! Their president is a lying, murdering, sexual predator and many of these so-called “Christians” still support him.

“Yes,” said the man. “When given a choice between psychopaths, misery will follow no matter which one is chosen. As it is with everyone, we begin to take on the nature of what we serve. And what many are turning into is the exact opposite of the Christ consciousness. Religions based upon fear turn gods into monsters. Again, this is by design.”

“It appears hopeless to me at this point,” I said. “America is going to collapse upon its own apathy and corruption, and I’m pissed off that I am forced to be part of all this!” I screamed. “Our heart-centers will die from the kill-or-be killed environment we are now being forced into.”

“It’s dying in you anyway due to your anger and frustration towards those who remain lost,” said the man.

“That’s right,” I said quietly.

“I’m not going to tell you that you’re wasting your time at this point trying to wake people up. You know as well as I that this is true for the most part. What I am going to tell you is that you cannot allow the madness that surrounds you to take you down with it.”

“And at this stage, you need to look at your options,” he continued. “You could always get the hell out of Dodge.”

“No,” I said.

“Is it because of the guilt?”

Again, I knew what he meant. So many of those waking up have trouble letting go of their past.

“Maybe,” I said. “But it’s more than that. I am part of this mess that has been made. I have to help clean it up. For me and for those who came before me; as well as those who come after.”

“Then let it all go,” the man said. “Only more suffering can awaken them; and maybe not even that. And suffering is what they are going to get.”

“For your part,” he continued, “It’s time for you to begin distancing yourself from it all. One way to do that is to stop trying to stay up with current events. Let the important things come through as they will without effort on your part. But lay aside the continuing soap operas such as the “Russian conspiracy” as these will invariably lead to nowhere. These scripts are put in place to keep you upset as well as provide cover for bigger events they are orchestrating such as the encroachment upon North Korea done under cover of the Olympics.

“Just take a step back from it all,” he continued. “Look for the deeper meaning behind what is happening within and around you. Much can be learned at this time when looking through clear eyes.”

“You won’t miss much anyway,” the man said with a grin. “All of their scams are variations of the same themes, from their staged events to their pre-planned responses always leading to more loss of freedom.

“Again, let the day-to-day misery go. Work on your own connection to the universe. That is your responsibility and well worth the effort.”

“Maybe so,” I said. “But I don’t think I’m going to survive what’s coming.”

“That would make you one of many,” said the man. “No matter what happens, be of good cheer,” he said. “They cannot take what matters most that you do not willingly give.”

“So far, so good,” I said.

“Yes!” he said with a laugh.

“I must go now,” said the man. “Thanks for the smoke.”

He had found my stash!

“Abraxas,” I called to him as he was walking away. He turned and smiled.

“You remember me now,” he said.

“Yes,” I answered. You came to me when I was a child.

“I will see you one more time before your departure,” he said. “Stay the course no matter what. See what happens.”

Watching him drift away, I remembered when I had first met him. I wasn’t afraid of him then either. He had tried to warn me that my time of innocence and sense of connection would soon come to an end. He cautioned me against getting too caught up in their systems of control. I hadn’t listened.

It was good to know that he would be there at the end. Or would that be the beginning?