I’ve
been playing my saxophone more of late.
I’m not very good, but I can string together a tune by ear. It reveals enough to me to know that I am
being taught by something inside myself—and nowhere else.
Everybody
has qualities to teach them this but most don’t pay attention to the lessons
given; unless there’s money in it. Most
remain at the same level all the way to the bitter end because they allow other
lost souls to tell them what to believe, even regarding ourselves.
As
I’ve alluded to somewhat already, I come from a dysfunctional family. It’s taken me years of inner work to free
myself from its clutches, and still I remain only partly successful in
overcoming its influences.
But
I also know that my parents had it worse than I did growing up. And what they did foolishly was through
unconscious conditioning and not out of malice.
That mentality is left to those at a higher level in this game.
As
with many of us, I’ve had a “hard row to hoe” (as my grandmother put it after
understanding my mentality).
Bushwhacking to make our own trail is often fraught with peril. I had an idea of what I was getting myself
into a long time ago. I just didn’t
understand how difficult it would sometimes be.
But I’ve found that the well-traveled path turns into a conveyer belt
somewhere down the line, and that’s not for me.
Those
who have tasted the whip of violence early in their lives react to this trauma
in different ways. But one of those ways
is to be drawn to it. Whether wearing a
uniform or a mask, they like to inflict (and sometimes receive) pain. In doing so, they repeat the cycle of
violence which began at home.
I
have no doubt that most who are now wearing a uniform are coming from this
vicious cycle of abuse. Why else would
they continue to blindly serve the whims of predators threatening their own
extinction?
Again,
most of this violence is rooted in child abuse, pure and simple. Time for us to grow up and get past our
conditioning.
This
is not something that will change overnight as we’ve become a nation of
predation with the greatest rewards coming to those who most diligently serve
this depraved system. And when I say
system, I mean all of it, from the genocidal god we were taught to believe to
the genocidal president that many still worship as a god. This is no accident and fits into their
control system quite well.
Do
you not see the tyrant in you? I
certainly do in me. But it is alien to
my true nature and those who point it out when I become this conditioned
response devoid of impulse-control are doing me a great service.
This
is how we overcome the predator in ourselves; by assisting others in their
awakening we can overcome these same weaknesses. That’s what true love is all about.
But
instead of working through our problems in a conscious and civilized manner, the
use of force to gain compliance continues to be perpetrated by dysfunctional
families across America. Is it any
wonder that these parents are now receiving the same treatment from their government? This sick symbiotic relationship feeds upon
itself and creates sadistic enforcers of a government that has now become a
clear and present danger to what’s left of our liberty.
In
order to gain control of the situation, we must first transcend the
psycho-spiritual traumas experienced by being a part of our own dysfunctional
families. Much of this lies in
forgiveness. With few exceptions, our
parents didn’t know what they were doing as they were done in by their own
unconscious parents.
Here’s
a thought. Be thankful that you weren’t corrupted
by parents who understood the abuse they were heaping upon you as it was all
part of their Satanic “Cremation of care” sacrifice of their child so they
would grow up to be as evil and psychopathic as them. George W. Bush comes to mind.
One
way to break the spell of our conditioning is to reach a point where we can see
the aberrant behavior of our parents reflected in ourselves. The more awakened a mind, the less it will follow
anything blindly, including its previous conditioning.
When
it comes to truth, you know or you don’t know.
And often, you don’t know why you know.
You just do. And when enough of
us wanting to follow that knowing becomes stronger than the outside influences,
we will be on our way to no longer following anyone
or anything on the outside that runs counter to this inner knowing.
Time
to drop our dysfunctional family of those who want power over us and start a
new and better one that makes a conscious choice to live in harmony.
2 comments:
Ah yes, forgiveness. In December I took up the ukulele, a first stringed musical instrument, and it's been three decades time since I've tried music. This subject you write of has been a struggle of mine in recent years. I must learn to forgive my parent. I have also been learning to forgive my self. It's not easy. And at my ripe age, I'm embarrassed that I haven't achieved this yet, I've come a long way though. Yes, I realise that viciousness was done to her, and so, it was all she knew. She never should have had kids, and only did so to reel in my dad. She browbeat him into an early death way too long ago, and she always hated my guts with her love. At 15 I decided to never have kids, and good thing I can be stubborn having achieved that. It is a huge loss, and a high achievement. I'd probably be a good granny by now, but would have been a terrible parent, thinking I was genetically damaged, but realised as a step parent later that 'it - the terrible parenting disease' was not only genetic. I did step parent for a 13 year marriage that ended in agony, steps run on mother's side, naturally. I literally have tiny pink sticky notes around the place with 'i am learning to forgive myself' written on them. Thank you for this post.
Glad you found it of value, Adaline. The day after I posted this article, I found out that my aunt died. Unfortunately, she had not survived her horrible childhood and therefore, caused problems for those close to her. I feel sad for her, but I didn't have to live with her as her daughters did.
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